Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Making Copies - Part 1

I walk into the copy room. I see Fake DM (aka Donny).
I walk over and pat him on the shoulder, "Ah Brrro..."
He smiles at me, "Brrro...How ya doin'?"
I smile back at him, "How ya doin'?"
He replies, "How's it going?"

I reply to him, "Ah Brrro, not too well. I need your help. I had a misunderstanding with Fake JZ. I just want to set everything straight." Donny looks at me and says, "I heard all about it. Brrro, how could you think that Fake JZ would purposely do something like that? She's so embarrassed that she canceled all her meetings in the morning. You really should apologize to her."

He actually thinks it's my fault. I must voice my disapproval, "Ah Brrro, you weren't there."

He gives me the evil eyes, "Brrro, Come on. It's Fake JZ."

I reply, "Ah Brrro, you're right. I give up. Just bring her over here and I'll apologize."

Donny picks up his stack of copies and leaves the copy room, "Brrro, no problem. I'll bring her here in a few minutes."

Anyways, back to the reason why I came to the copy room. I put my paperwork on the copier and I press the "Copy" button. Nothing happens. I look down at the copy machine and it says, "OUT OF PAPER". I put my paperwork aside to look for more copy paper. I look in the cabinets. Nothing. The only paper I see are those stacked on a shelf high above the copier. There's no ladder. The only way to get to it is to climb on the copier. I guess I'm gonna have to do it myself since no one is around to help.

I struggle trying to get on top of the copier. When I finally get proper leverage to push myself up, my pants gets caught on a lever of the copier - the copier was going to tip over and crush me unless I pushed myself up.

What happens next is no lie. I can't make up stuff like this...

Everything happened in one motion. I pushed myself up with all my might. I practically flew up over the copier and banged my head against the shelf before landing on the copier. This caused the shelf to collapsed, but I caught it with both of my hands before it fell on my beautiful face. We cannot have that happen. That's not all, the copier effectively stripped my pants down to my ankles when I flew upwards because my pants was caught below on a lever of the copier.

So I'm standing in an eagle-spread position on top of a copier completely naked below the waist with my willy and moon in full view while holding up a collapsed shelf. It gets worse, one of the packet of papers fall off the shelf and onto the copier's control console and suddenly the copier screen displays, "COPIER RESET. MAKING 500 COPIES NOW..."

I though there was no paper.

Oh no...

I'm standing on top of the copier and it's making copies of my willy. This is embarrassing, but this is nothing compared to what happens next...

(to be continued: Making Copies - Part 2)

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