(continued from: Making Copies - Part 1)
I'm in the copy room. I'm naked below the waist. I'm standing on top of a copier in a eagle-spread position. The copier is busily making 500 copies of my willy. I'm in this ridiculous predicament due to a series of unfortunate events as describe in my previous secret diary entry. I'm currently contemplating how I will be able to get myself out of this pickle...
Suddenly Donny and Fake JZ enter the copy room. Donny's jaw drops to the ground. Fake JZ screams and covers her face.
"Wait guys, I can explain. This was an accident." I immediately exclaimed.
Donny finally comes to his senses and utters, "Brrro! What the F**k?! Why are you making copies of your penis?"
Fake JZ interjects, "Fake JS, you've gone too far this time. Stop messing with my head. I'm going to HR!"
I beg them both to listen, "Guys, please, I can explain. This is all just an accident. I'm not making copies of my penis. When I jumped onto the copier, my pants came off and the shelf collapsed at the same time. I'm just holding it up so it doesn't collapse on me."
Fake JZ exclaims, "That's just ridiculous. I'm going to HR!"
Donny interjects, "Brrro, you need to see a shrink."
I continue to beg them, "Please guys I need your help. I'm really stuck. Donny, help me hold up the shelf. Fake JZ, please help me with my pants before someone else comes by and sees this."
They reluctantly decide to help me once they realize I'm in a legitimate predicament.
Donny climbs up right behind me to help me hold up the shelf, "Brrro, your bare-naked ass just rubbed up against the front of my pant. I cannot describe the sort of wrong I feel right now. If anyone see me in this position with you, I'm going to be ruined."
Fake JZ, consciously avoiding eye contact with my thingies, is helping me extricate my pants from the copier. While she's doing this, I make my sincerest apology to her about the flirting incident. She's still fuming, "Fake JS, I accept your apology, but why are you such an idiot?! Why do you always put me in awkward situations like this?!" She's starting to yank really hard on the pants. I'm afraid she's going to ruin it and just before I was I about to tell her to take it easy, she interrupts me, "Geez, your pants is really stuck to this copier. How did you get it stuck like this? I can't believe I'm doing this for you..."
Just as Fake JZ finishes her sentence, King Jorge and Hugo "The Huge" Downer walk into the copy room. A look of horror is etched on their faces. Oh god, this looks really really bad. Donny and I are speechless. Fake JZ lets out a scream and bursts into tears. We all react in our own panicked way because we know what this looks like to King Jorge and Hugo - Fake DM is giving it to me doggie style while Fake JZ is taking off my pants.
Hugo looks at King Jorge and says, "Wh...Wh...What the f**k is this?"
King Jorge replies, "Well, Hugo... it looks like ...um... Fake DM and Fake JS are ...um... and Fake JZ is..."
I've never seen King Jorge at such a loss for words...
King Jorge continues, "You know what Hugo, I'm not going to explain what we're looking at right now because I can't. I just know there must be an explanation. I'm going to get to the bottom of this and get back to you."
This is going to be bad. It doesn't matter that I'm writing this in my secret diary that no one will ever read because enough people already know about this incident which means the whole company will eventually know about it. Things like this spread like wild fire.
Ah Brrro, I'm having a really bad day.