The Healing Process - Dinner with Donny and Fake JZ (Part Two)

(continued from: The Healing Process - Getting In Touch With My Female Self (Part One))

Fake JZ, Fake DM, and myself are have dinner together to blow off some steam from all the events that happened in the past few days. Honestly, anything to get my mind off my formerly beautiful and now deformed face is fine with me so I'm more than happy to be having dinner with them. If I didn't have a baboon's ass for a face, I wouldn't be paying any attention to anyone except for myself, but that's not the case so I actually begin to notice a lot of things about Fake DM and Fake JZ.

Donny is actually a really funny guy. He likes to make a lot of jokes. The best part is when he laughs. His laughter will go three octaves higher than his normal man-defined voice. His man-defined face will scrunch up like a cute little raisin and he's man-defined pearly whites will go on full display. He's so cute when he does this. I don't know why, but I just want to smile when his cute little face scrunches up like that. Sometimes I just want to vigorously rub his man-defined beard with both my hands. In fact, I think he would appreciate me doing that because it will promote blood circulation around the cheek area warding off wrinkles. I'll do this the next time I'm alone with him. I don't want to do it front of Fake JZ because everyone will feel awkward.

Speaking of Fake JZ, I noticed that she has two types of laugh: A polite laugh and a real laugh. The polite laugh is always done unconsciously. It's like a reflex. It sounds very lazy. She'll say something like, "Fake JS you better do as I say or I'm gonna tell King Jorge you leave work early everyday, heh heh heh." Most people just end their sentences with a normal "period", but Fake JZ's periods are a lazy "heh heh heh". It actually doesn't mean that she thinks anything is funny...to be honest, I actually don't know what it means when she does it. I don't even know why she does it. It's just like I don't know why I whip out my compact to look at myself these days even though I look worse than Hans. I know why I did it before I got beaten up - I was Adonis reincarnated - but it just doesn't make any sense now, but anyways I digress. Fake JZ's real laugh is quite a thing to behold. Her face scrunches up like a prune. Her face turns red. Her mouth opens up like the parting of the Red Sea. Tears come gushing out of her eyes and down her face like a tropical storm in the Amazon Rainforest. If seeing that doesn't cheer you up, you might have some serious depression issues.

But there is a warning label to Fake JZ's real laugh. If she's got anything in her mouth when she breaks out one of her real laugh, duck or get out of the way. The things in her mouth will shoot out like bullets in a machine gun. This actually happened during our dinner. Fake JZ just put a mint in her mouth and Donny made a really funny joke that caused everyone to burst into uncontrollably laughter. Fake JZ's mint shot out of her mouth and smacked me right on my forehead causing me to fall backwards. Thank god Donny caught my fall otherwise I would have cracked my skull on the concrete restaurant floor. When Donny caught my fall, he was still laughing, but we caught each other's gaze and I realized we were both "in get" again. His scrunched up little raisin face is so cute I just want to rub his man-defined beard, but I resist because we are not alone.

After Donny puts me back on my feet, I said to him, "Ah Brrro, thanks for the save." and he replied, "Brrro, you're welcome." as we both awkwardly look away from each other pretending nothing happened. This moment caused me to look up and I saw a hole in the ceiling. Apparently Fake JZ's mint ricocheted off my forehead and through the ceiling. Ah Brrro, that's wicked! The only reason why the mint didn't go through my skull was because the scar tissue made the skin on my face tougher than normal. Fake JZ almost killed me, but my baboon ass face saved my life. You have been warned about Fake JZ's real laugh.

Anyways, the fact that I have no real motivation to admire myself has allowed me to get to know my co-workers a lot better. Fake JZ and Donny are real cool. Donny's more than just a pretty face and I don't mind Fake JZ constantly interrupt me about work when I'm looking into my compact. I guess it's not so bad being ugly - Oh my god I can't believe I just wrote that. Thank god this is a secret diary that no one will ever read.